I got really drunk with a friend last night and engaged in a conversation about the mistakes I've made in my life. All these mistakes date back to my life in high school. I was a Senior student at the school. Like many people in high school i had a girlfriend who really cared about me. Like some i was an older brother to a young sister in her freshman year. Many a time these young ladies would come to me with their problems expecting me to act as their anchor and help them deal with them. Usually they were being bullied by some other student in the school. Now I always thought i was a very agreeable person and also a people person. I thought i knew how to deal with people and diffuse feuds and have them both smiling afterwards...oh how i was wrong. I would go the the bully and put an arm around them and try to speak to them in the most calm way. I would try to make them realize that their actions were totally unnecessary. I would tell them things like "you are a better person than this" expecting this to resonate with them. After the conversation they would smile at me, tell me that they would change. For years ever since i would live a normal life, happy until last night. I almost had a mental breakdown when it was revealed to me that the two most important people of the time didn't trust me anymore. They thought i would side with everyone who harms them. This all came from the things that would be said by the bully after our agreement. In some cases they would frame my girls, in others the bullying got worse. They would say such things as "he is not even on your side, that must be embarrassing". These harmful words would go on to scar them forever, no wonder they never asked for any help from me again. And there i was thinking i was the supreme protector. My takeaway from this is everybody is playing a game. If you do not stand firmly by those you love their enemies will use you to hurt them more. At this point in my life all i have is regrets about my actions. I cannot do anything to mend the bones i broke. I can only apologize and learn from my experiences. It is really hard to be good to everybody all the time. When it comes to your people and their enemies, STAND FIRM. And to all bullies out there, KARMA IS REAL.
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